Why Avoid the Word “Why” When Interviewing a Child?

As any good interviewer knows, finesse in questioning is just as important as the questions themselves. If you’ve found yourself in the position of interviewing a child, you might be surprised to learn that there’s one word you should steer clear of—why. Now, some might ask, what’s the big deal? Why can’t I just ask a simple question like, "Why did you do that?" Well, let's explore that a bit.

The Dangers of Implying Fault

Picture this: a child recalls a troubling incident, perhaps something that makes them feel vulnerable or scared. When you introduce a word like why, it can inadvertently shift the focus in a way that can feel accusatory. As in, “Why did you do that?” This isn't just a harmless question; it might make the child feel like the blame for a situation rests squarely on their small shoulders.

You see, kids are highly impressionable. Their particular frame of mind can be delicate, and questions that lead to feelings of guilt or blame can cause them to retreat into defensive shell. They might think, "Wow, maybe this is all my fault," and suddenly, what started as a conversation turns into a roadblock. Ever tried to get someone to talk when they think they're in trouble? Not easy, right?

It's not just about the perceived blame, though. Fear can set in, making a child hesitant to disclose vital information. And that's exactly the opposite of what we're aiming for during these conversations. We want clarity, truthfulness, and above all, safety in the dialogue.

The Emotional Barometer: Anxiety and Shame

When interviewing children, it's essential to foster a comforting environment. Kids are like sponges; they absorb not just questions, but the emotions behind them. If they sense that they might be judged or shamed, they might adjust their answers to protect themselves—a psychological defense mechanism, if you will.

If you're left with skewed or incomplete responses, how can you accurately gauge their situation? It can be like trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing! Instead of getting a clear picture, you’re left with more questions than answers.

Language Matters: Choose Wisely

So, what then? If not why, what can we ask? The key lies in employing gentle questioning techniques that promote comfort and openness.

Consider rephrasing your inquiries. Instead of asking, "Why did that happen?" try something like, "Can you tell me what happened?" or "What do you remember about that day?" Notice how these alternatives prompt children to share their experiences without the fear of blame? They feel safe enough to open up their hearts. By adjusting the language, you can keep the door open for dialogue rather than slam it shut with guilt.

Backing the Approach with Research

It's not just a matter of intuition either; various studies indicate that children are more forthcoming when they feel unthreatened. A supportive atmosphere encourages honesty, ensuring that important information is shared without diminishment.

Let me explain a bit further: children thrive on reassurance, and when you're interviewing them, your tone can carry an enormous weight. Responses can vary profoundly based on how a question is posed. The last thing anyone wants is to add more worry to a child's life.

Wrapping It Up

In conclusion, the strategy behind avoiding the word “why” is clear. The aim is to create a safe space for children, where they feel secure enough to communicate openly. Remember, our ultimate goal is not only to elicit accurate information but to create an environment where children feel protected and heard.

So next time you find yourself in that vital conversation, pause before you pose that why question. It could make all the difference in allowing a child to express their truth freely. After all, isn’t that what we’re all striving for?